Upholding RIGHTS, Transforming LIVES

She is standing in the hallway—looking at the roster of newly-bred leaders in the legal profession marked and furnished on the university’s wall of fame. She dreams of seeing her name on the same wall, too. Exactly a year from this day, she will face the final bout. After realizing this, she felt her heart skip a beat. No, she’s not nervous. She’s excited. She knows that she will make it. She will not just pass the bar examinations next year—she will be one of the country’s bar topnotchers of her generation.

She is Angeline. A woman of compassion and commitment to promote and uphold the rights of every individual and to transform their lives. She has finally graduated from De La Salle University’s College of Law and is now preparing for next year’s Bar Exams. She stays in their family’s house in Taft Avenue, Manila from Monday to Friday, but she spends her weekends with her family in Angeles City, Pampanga.

Today, she decided to spend her Saturday in the university library. Just like her usual routine, she goes to the place and heads for her favorite spot—the sofa near the periodicals section. She reaches for the newspaper and reads the headlines of the day. She jots down the top news and writes her reaction about these on her notes. This has been her habit ever since she had a professor in the graduate school who asks them to assiduously comment on the everyday issues being faced by the country.

After spending some time in reading newspapers, she went to the bookshelves and started looking for books that she need in studying International Law and Politics. After gathering enough sources, she went to a private room where law graduates preparing for bar exams usually stay. Angeline treats this place as sacred. The four-cornered room is like a praying room for her. There, she totally forgets the outside world and focuses on every word that the books say. There, she will be seen wearing her reading glasses, her head bowed down in concentration.

Actually, Angeline’s first passion is to help other people through medical missions and saving lives. She dreamt of being a doctor when she was in high school. However, as she became more aware of the things that are happening in her country, she realized that the Philippines is faced with so many challenges and complexities that continue to grow day by day. The country needs just and morally upright leaders in the practice of law. The Philippines needs new class of lawyers with a culture of heart.

Angeline is not yet a lawyer, but she knows that her time to be one is bound to happen soon. Deep in her heart, she promises that when she finally reaches that dream, she will continue her burning passion for justice and her desire to serve the Philippines. She knows that someday, her dream will be turned into reality—a reality that will empower every Filipino in her country. 

Blurt It Out Through Writing

Have you had an experience when you said something to another person that you later wish you hadn’t? I often have.

You probably felt the feeling that you want to speak, but you are too tired to do so. You may have also experienced a time when you’re too eager to air the things you have in mind, but you just can’t. However, there are other ways where you can express and vent your unsaid words—one is through writing on a personal journal.

Writing on a journal helps you reflect on your day-to-day experiences. In here, you don't have to be a great writer or a perfect speller to be able to write your entry for the day. All you have to do is to review the things you did the whole day and jot it down. Unlike in writing on your diary, you are not just describing the things you did in one day, you may also write your realizations on what took place and express emotions and understandings about them.

Your journal is a great place to plan and review your goals. It is always a better thing to keep yourself reminded of the things you want to achieve. Seeing your goals written is an excellent way to motivate yourself. You may also use it in doing your weekly plan. By writing down your things-to-do for the whole week, you are able to prioritize the things that need urgent attention. This is also a determining factor whether you are accomplishing your goals on time or not.

Through journal-writing, you are able to process your feelings. When you hold intense emotions in your heart, there is a tendency that you’ll burst and blurt it all out. The next thing you’ll know, you have already injured the feelings of other people. It may be hard but in times like these, in order not to cause further misunderstandings, you just have to walk away because striking back won’t do you any good. Settle in a quiet place. Grab your journal and write it all there. Removing yourself from the situation and writing your emotions equate counting to ten before saying anything. In doing this, you are not just doing yourself a favor, you are also healing other people’s feelings as well.

The words that you utter have the power to heal or to hurt. Most of time, you use it for the latter. Words, once spoken, can leave a mark on another person’s memory forever. In writing, you can always carefully choose the words that you want to say, but in speaking, you can never undo words that were already spoken.

To Err is Human

Most of us would agree that high school years were certainly the best years of our lives. I finished my secondary education in a public school where students come from various walks of life and where the population is too big that the administration could not afford to provide enough conducive rooms and educators to its students. When I was in my fourth year, I was so excited and, at the same time, nervous to face the new chapter in my life after graduation. The thought of entering college scares me, but this is not the case after I first set foot in one of the rooms inside the university.

I am a college scholar since my first year in Angeles University Foundation. I have been active in my extra-curricular activities and I’ve experienced handling different positions both college-based and university wide organizations. During my first year, I was elected as a vice-president of one of the organizations in the campus. That experience opened my eyes and made me realize that college life is far more different than high school. I’ve seen and feel how hard it was to handle a position in an atmosphere that is almost like the outside world.

My experience of being a student-leader did not end there. More positions came and more doors of opportunities were opened. While being active in my extra-curricular activities, I did not sacrifice my time in academics. Since first year, I have been recognized as one of the top students in the college. I have also experienced joining regional competitions and national seminars particularly in the field of journalism. I realized that in college, I must learn how to manage my time well. I am the type of student who would not just sit there and watch other people move and lead. I believe that I am more of a leader and a follower, and since I choose to be a student-leader, I must know how to effectively balance my attention between leading and studying.

Now that I am already on my third year in college, one thing that I keep on reminding myself is that college life is a choice, and in making a choice, I should never regret anything. We are human and it’s normal if we make a mistake. To err is to grow up. What is important is that we learn from each failure and promise to give our best shot the next time.

NOT AN ANGEL (The Origin of My Name)

I am definitely not an angel but for my parents, I will always be like one.

My name is Angeline. I was born on February 22, 1993 when my mother was at her thirties. At that time, they have two children. They were not expecting that a child will still come in their lives. They always wanted to have a baby girl in the family. I came just in time.

When I was in high school, I also had an assignment asking us to know the origin and the reason why our parents chose our name. That was the time that I had the opportunity to interview my parents—particularly my mother—about my birth.

My mother said that they were just planning to have two kids—one boy and one girl. Their first child was a boy, but unfortunately, he died because of premature birth. After the sad incident that struck our family, my parents moved on. Soon, my mother gave birth to another baby boy. They gave him the name Benjamin.

Four years after, my older brother Brian was born. Since the original plan was to have two children in the family, it took them 11 years to be financially stable and to finally decide that indeed, they want another angel to come in the family. They wanted to have a baby girl, and that time, God gave them one.

And yes, I was born. My mother said they gave me the name Angeline because God gave me to them. I am God-sent. I am a gift. And just like how one website defined my name, my mother said I am a messenger of God. I am an angel sent to them to deliver the message that all they need to have is faith. The faith that they held on to when they were in the midst of wanting a baby girl in their lives.

ULING

Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit ilan sa mga tao, ang hilig-hilig manghusga at pumuna ng mga bagay na mali sa iba habang sila mismo ay may kanya-kanya rin namang mga kapintasan. Hey, wala ngang taong perpekto 'di ba? Siguro sadyang likas lang sa ibang tao ang bumigkas ng mga destructive words. 'Yun bang hindi buo ang araw nila kapag wala silang nalalait o napapansing depekto sa kapwa nila tao.

Aminado naman ako na minsan, nagagawa ko ring makapamintas sa iba. Yung tipong may dumaan sa harap namin ng mga kaibigan ko, sabay-sabay naming mapapansin, tapos makakakita kami ng isang bagay na maaaring pagkatuwaan sa taong iyon, tapos wala na. Kadalasan, nagagawa namin/ko iyon sa mga taong HINDI NAMIN KILALA. Mga tao na pintasan man namin, hindi naman nya magagawang malaman, kasi nga, hindi nya kami kilala at hindi nya kami narinig.

Nasubukan ko na rin namang mamintas ng HARAP-HARAPAN. 'Yung tipo namang sa kaibigan ko mismo sinasabi kung ano yung bagay na katawa-tawa sa kanya. Ayos lang naman 'yun e. Harapan naman at hindi kapag nakatalikod sya. Isa pa, kung pipintasan ko/namin sya, sigurado namang pabiro iyon at WALANG IBANG NAKAKARINIG na maaaring ika-offend nya. 

Walang taong perpekto. Ako at ikaw, pareho lang tayong may mga uling sa mukha. Kung nanaisin mo man na punahin ang uling sa mukha ng iba, siguraduhin mong napahid mo na yang sandamukal na black thingy na nasa mukha mo.

Almost

Thank God we're almost done with our midterm exams. Today, we took our exam in EFC and Media Law. The exam in EFC went well though I was a bit disappointed with the test questions. I enjoyed our exam in Media Law, but honestly speaking, it was a very different type of test compared to the prelim exam. Our live production in BC102 will be on Wednesday. With that, tomorrow will surely be a busy day for us, CommIII.

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I suddenly missed blogging. It's been a long time since I last updated this blog. I've been very busy with shooting and script writing for our film and miniseries which are the final requirements in our BC102 class. We are only three in our group, and so far, the only disadvantage that I could see in the size of our production is the man power. We all have to work. We are all cameramen, scriptwriters, and actresses. Luckily, we have some friends to help us in the production. Thanks to these cool guys.

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I hate waiting for the results of our exams especially in statistics. I am very sure that I failed the test and I am very prepared to see a failing score tomorrow. I hope our professor will be more considerate in giving us grades this midterm.

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I wonder why some people are so greedy and unfair. I wonder how they can bear seeing other people suffer because of them. If only I could punch each of them in the face and tell them straight to their eyes that they are so selfish. Haaay.

BREAK!

I was actually planning to read about the topics to be discussed in class for our next meeting when suddenly, a notification in my facebook account popped-up. It was an announcement from Atty. Yabut, our Media Law professor, declaring July 14 as "No Media Law" day. According to him, this is to enable us to remember him without the pressure of seeing him on that day.


Upon reading the post, I was like: "Aww, sakto!" I really need a break especially now that I am not feeling well because of this headache. Obviously, my groupmates and I will be very busy tomorrow polishing our commercial and trying to start writing our scripts for the mini-series and film. At least, after our meeting, we don't need to worry about the next day's recitation because as what has been declared, Thursday is a "No Media Law" day. :)) 


By the way, July 14 is Atty. Yabut's birthday, too. Happy Birthday Sir and cheers for the free day! =)

SEMI-MAMAW MODE

It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. I've been very busy and stressed with school works that I can't even find time to read a good book or update my social networking accounts. School is okay. In class, we are expected to produce two short films and one mini-series for finals. Yes, we got lots of things to do and I definitely love it because it makes me busy and productive.

I miss summer vacation. Those days when I don't need to wake up early to review for today's lessons and prepare for a long quiz. I miss spending so much time with my comfy bed and pillows. I miss those nights when I don't mind if I'll sleep late because the next day, I could sleep 'till afternoon.

MAMAW. The term coined by my classmates to describe someone who is really focused in his/her studies, almost forgetting that he/she has a social life.

Well, I could say that I am now in my SEMI-MAMAW mode. Semi because I don't think I could easily say goodbye to my social life. I mean, I love being with my friends. I love hanging out with them, and I believe, I can effectively manage my time in school and my time with these great people. Obviously, since Choco left AUF, we started not to spend much time going to malls, watching movies, and eating outside. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that it's a good thing now that Choco is not in school. Wala lang. I just miss Choco. :)

By this time, I have already downloaded all the articles in my e-mail for our school paper. I think I should start editing these articles now. As much as possible, I want to finish all my work ahead of time (as in everything!). I just don't want to be pressured by the pile of deadlines in my planner, you know.

By the way, I'm so glad that we're already done with our 29-second commercial for TV Production which is due on Friday. At least we don't need to worry about it now. Just saying. ;)

Strangers, again

This is so true.

I think everyone of us, at some point in our lives, will get to experience these stages in our own relationships. Every relationship has its 'rise and fall'. Everything ends, even good things and exquisite experiences. No matter what we do, oftentimes, we cannot change the inevitable. People change but that's normal. Relationships end but it's up to us if it will actually happen. Problems may come in every relationship, but the result of each challenge depends upon how two persons handle the situation.

I guess the best thing to do when relationships come through these 'rough times' is to TRUST each other...

People will get together, and just like in this short film, others will eventually become strangers again. Life goes on. Just be thankful for all the things you learned and experienced from someone you used to cross paths with.

FICKLE-MINDED ME

From my position at the moment, the clock tells me that it's already 12:03 AM. I was actually planning to sleep early tonight because my friend, Kevin, will visit me later in the morning. I have no plans of writing anything for this blog until I had a glimpse of what Roanne Quiambao posted here in blogger. It was entitled "I'll be what?" and from the piece of introduction flashed in my dashboard, I had an idea of what the blog post is all about.

San mo balak magtrabaho pag naggraduate ka?" - asked by my friend, who's really sure of her future work because she'll be going to London to be a ______ there. (bragging, right?) *Saan nga ba? 

The same question bothers me for a week now. I don't know kung ano talaga ang gusto ko! Even my brothers told me, magulo daw at pabagu-bago akong mag-isip. Will I be a lawyer just like what my Mom dreams of me? Will I pursue my childhood dream to be a doctor someday?

Actually, I can feel pressure from my family, but for me, that's a good thing. I consider them my ultimate motivator and inspiration. Without them, nothing from these two professions would be possible to achieve. 

Honestly (though i'm in the field of communication because of my chosen course in college), I still don't give up my dream to be a doctor someday. I still dream of myself inside the operating room, saving people's lives. Perhaps, a doctor seeing a mother give birth to a child. I also entertain the thought of seeing myself inside a court room--debating with a fellow lawyer, hearing my client about his side of the story, or trying to help husbands and wives in solving their marriage problems. 

Anu't-ano pa man, the fact remains that still, I AM UNDECIDED of what will be my future profession 10 (or more?) years from now. I am already 18 and I feel like i'm running out of time. Gustuhin ko mang maging doktor sa hinaharap, paano naman 'yun? Anong konek ng kursong komunikasyon sa medisina? Some friends keep on telling me na "mas bagay sayo ang LAW" or "Hello? mas related sa course mo ang LAW, bakit ka pa mag me-medicine?" Well, I think they're right. Sometimes, i'm holding on to this everything happens for a reason just for me to convince myself that i'm on the right track. Pero ano nga ba? Ano nga ba ang gusto ko talaga?

Meanwhile, my Mom constantly tells me na LAW ang kunin ko after graduation. Okay din naman 'yun for me. When Atty. Yabut became our PolSci teacher,that's when I started realizing how challenging law is. I became interested and that's also the time when I started to entertain the idea of taking up law someday. One family friend told me, "Ah! Tama mag-law ka nga, bagay na bagay 'yun para maipagtanggol mo ang Mama mo kasi very controversial sya." Funny! but it's true. Since Mom started to engage herself in Politics, our life as a family became a little bit busy? LOL. I can't find the right term, sorry. 

Even though I keep on talking about medicine and law here, it doesn't mean that I don't have any interests in becoming a media practitioner someday. I also want to be in the field--to be a broadcaster or to involve myself in documentary making. I also like writing, but I don't see myself like those good writers I know. Somehow, I want to be like my Auntie who is now working in ABS-CBN Australia as a field reporter. If i'm not mistaken, she graduated in UP Diliman and started working in ABS-CBN's Rated K as a researcher.

Right now, i'm still weighing things up and i'm not really sure when will I be certain about my decision. It's so hard for me to decide especially when I know that I have passion for these things. I hope and pray that I'll be able to choose one from these two soon. God, please help me!

Oh, by the way. I also want to become a part of the SOCO team someday (since I belong to a family of policemen--my father and my two brothers). Hey, I also want to become a pilot! :)

Too many dreams, too little time. Fickle-minded, huh?

BORINGGG...

Ang tagal ko nang gustong bigyan ng kasunod yung last post ko dito sa blogger kaso ang problema, bagamat gusto kong magsulat, hindi naman ako makahagilap ng mga salitang maaaring gamitin para maiparating ang mensaheng nais kong sabihin.

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Ang hirap magdiet kapag bakasyon. Pakiramdam ko, walang oras na nakakaramdam ako ng gutom. Nag-aalala ako na baka sa pasukan hindi ko na maisara yung palda ko. Higit sa lahat, nag-aalala ako na baka hindi na ako makilala ng mga classmates ko dahil sa katabaan 'ko. 

Pressured ako. Pano ba naman kasi, yung mga kaibigan ko kagaya na lamang nila Choco, Jom at Ariane, masyadong weight-conscious. Ayoko namang maging tampulan ako ng tukso kapag nagkita-kita kami ulit. Haha.

•••

Noong isang araw na-badtrip ako. Paano ba naman kasi may isa akong kaibigan (?) na kung makapagsalita, gayun na lamang ipamukha sa akin ang isang bagay na wala ako. Malamang hindi mo gets kung ano yun. Paniguradong kami lang dalawa ang makakaintindi. Anyway, ang sa akin lang, hindi ibig sabihin na magkaibigan kayo ng isang tao ay may karapatan na syang panghimasukan ang buhay mo. Distansya at kontrol naman, kapatid. Lumugar ka kung saan ka dapat.

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Sa totoo lang, mahilig akong mag-stalk sa FB. Nagpapasalamat nga ako dahil walang 'Who's Viewed Me?' dun kumpara sa Friendster. Marami akong nalalaman sa pag-sstalk ko. Nakaka-enjoy naman sya, lalo na kapag may mga pagkakataong wala akong magawa online. Wala lang, na-share ko lang.

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Sinusubukan kong maging active ulit sa blogger, twitter at tumblr. Kaninang nag-log in ako sa twitter, may iilan akong new follower requests. Napansin kong inaalikabok na ang mga account ko sa social networking sites na 'to.  At the moment, i'm searching for backgrounds na pwedeng ipalit sa current background ng twitter account ko. :)

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Tinatamad na akong magsulat. :) Matapos ang lahat ng mga pinagsasabi ko sa blog post na 'to, naisip ko na baka wala naman talaga akong gustong iparating sa makakabasa (kung meron man) bago ko pa man simulan ang pagsusulat nito. Wala lang, trip ko lang sigurong magsulat para naman kahit papaano mabawas-bawasan ang inip na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hahaha. K.

Letting Go and Moving Forward

Imagine yourself standing on a footbridge extending over a small river. You walk up on the bridge and when you finally get into the middle, you gazed downstream and watched the water flow into the distance. You opened your hands as though you’re about to receive a gift in them. In your hands are the things you want to let go of. You hurled these things from your hands into the water below. It began to move away from you in the current.  It bumped a submerged rock, stopped for a while, then continued downstream… 

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Two years ago, I qualified for an exchange student in Japan. I decided not to join to participate in a regional writing contest. A big opportunity slipped away.

In the same year, my mentor, who used to be my bestfriend and listener, left the country for good. That was the last time I saw him.

Last year, I was deeply hurt by a broken friendship. I wanted to revive the relationship but it didn’t work out.

Why is it not good to dwell on these things? Wouldn’t it be better if we accept and let go of the things that we can’t change?

LIVING IN THE PAST IS SELF-DEFEATING.

            Different people have different frustrations, rejections and regrets. However, it is not healthy for us to dwell on these things.  Before you delve into letting go of your frustrations, you need to face your memories and experiences first.

            Sometimes, we spend a lot of time thinking of the mistakes we’ve done back then. Usually, we have these “what if?” questions in our minds. We keep on looking back at the wrong things we’ve done and of the things we’re not able to accomplish.

            Talk about living in the past, I guess this is one of the main reasons behind several disasters.

            We, as Filipinos, know for a fact that our country is being bombarded by societal problems. Once in a while, a new problem arises leading to another bunch of problems.

            In its 2008 report, the World Bank said 12.7 percent of Filipinos were "poor". Overseas Filipino workers ask why or country remains under-developed while many of our East Asian neighbors like South Korea, Taiwan and Malaysia have eradicated or significantly reduced mass poverty. The same question has been roaming around my mind for a very long time. Probably, most people will say that it’s the fault of the leaders in the government. Some will blame the prevailing corruption and dishonesty in the society, but have we ever thought that probably, we also have a part in this poverty-issue in the Philippines?

            It is now 2011. However, we’re not yet done with this issue. Years had passed and still, we are not yet over in accepting this sad and haunting idea. Poor families keep on blaming the government for not being able to alleviate their plight, where in reality; they are the ones responsible for their lives. Instead of putting the blame on the government, it’s best if they will move forward and start finding ways to support themselves. We should all move on from this perception that our country has no hope of rising from poverty. This situation calls for an action and not just mere solutions.

            Aside from this situation, I’m sure all of us have our own stories to tell regarding letting-go-and-moving-on process. Societal problems are not just the only example; we have our own personal problems too. At any rate, what I want to emphasize from the very start of this column is the importance of accepting the fact that there are some things we really can’t change and all that’s left for us to do is to accept these things, let them go and move forward. Remember that living in the past is self-defeating. We fail to view the great things that we are about to experience because we dwell on things that happened too much. We fail to appreciate the exquisite feeling of living in the present because still, we are caged in the past.

LET GO AND MOVE FORWARD.

            Yes, it may sound difficult but this is the best thing to do. I’m sure most of us experienced holding on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, or depressed us. In almost every situation—be it personal or societal problems that are incapacitating our country’s economy—letting go is a part of the process. Together with letting go is moving forward. Of course, before saying goodbye to all the pains and struggles of the past, ask yourself what you can learn from them. Apply what you learned to the challenges of the present. Do not just limit yourself with what you are now. Be courageous to face mistakes and disappointments. In case of failures and rejections, forgive yourself. Focus in taking steps to a better future.

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You never took your eyes off of it. You watched it until it reached the point where the river water also disappears from your sight. You stretched your arms and you felt what it’s like to have a weight off your shoulders. You turned away, not looking back at the water as you left the bridge where you cast all your troubles away.

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While my newswriting assignment in Journ101 patiently waits for me on top of my desk, I choose to write something that happened tonight as a new entry for my blog. Maybe I’m just too happy and overwhelmed, but I just can’t let this pass. We haven’t seen each other for ages, but I know nothing has changed. It’s still the same old ‘us’.

For how many times have we planned to set-up a date with each other? To eat dinner and ask what have happened in each of our lives for the last months? Three times? Seven? Ten? I don’t know. I missed you, really. Actually, we didn’t plan for this. Suddenly, you were standing at the same carousel where we used to meet. It’s real. I just saw you tonight. I just feel so happy to see one of my valued friends again. Despite the busy schedule—your work, my studies, and some other things—we managed to find some time to catch up with each other. I’m glad. =)

I believe this is not the last time that this will happen. I expect more of this will come and that’s for sure.