Letting Go and Moving Forward

Imagine yourself standing on a footbridge extending over a small river. You walk up on the bridge and when you finally get into the middle, you gazed downstream and watched the water flow into the distance. You opened your hands as though you’re about to receive a gift in them. In your hands are the things you want to let go of. You hurled these things from your hands into the water below. It began to move away from you in the current.  It bumped a submerged rock, stopped for a while, then continued downstream… 

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Two years ago, I qualified for an exchange student in Japan. I decided not to join to participate in a regional writing contest. A big opportunity slipped away.

In the same year, my mentor, who used to be my bestfriend and listener, left the country for good. That was the last time I saw him.

Last year, I was deeply hurt by a broken friendship. I wanted to revive the relationship but it didn’t work out.

Why is it not good to dwell on these things? Wouldn’t it be better if we accept and let go of the things that we can’t change?

LIVING IN THE PAST IS SELF-DEFEATING.

            Different people have different frustrations, rejections and regrets. However, it is not healthy for us to dwell on these things.  Before you delve into letting go of your frustrations, you need to face your memories and experiences first.

            Sometimes, we spend a lot of time thinking of the mistakes we’ve done back then. Usually, we have these “what if?” questions in our minds. We keep on looking back at the wrong things we’ve done and of the things we’re not able to accomplish.

            Talk about living in the past, I guess this is one of the main reasons behind several disasters.

            We, as Filipinos, know for a fact that our country is being bombarded by societal problems. Once in a while, a new problem arises leading to another bunch of problems.

            In its 2008 report, the World Bank said 12.7 percent of Filipinos were "poor". Overseas Filipino workers ask why or country remains under-developed while many of our East Asian neighbors like South Korea, Taiwan and Malaysia have eradicated or significantly reduced mass poverty. The same question has been roaming around my mind for a very long time. Probably, most people will say that it’s the fault of the leaders in the government. Some will blame the prevailing corruption and dishonesty in the society, but have we ever thought that probably, we also have a part in this poverty-issue in the Philippines?

            It is now 2011. However, we’re not yet done with this issue. Years had passed and still, we are not yet over in accepting this sad and haunting idea. Poor families keep on blaming the government for not being able to alleviate their plight, where in reality; they are the ones responsible for their lives. Instead of putting the blame on the government, it’s best if they will move forward and start finding ways to support themselves. We should all move on from this perception that our country has no hope of rising from poverty. This situation calls for an action and not just mere solutions.

            Aside from this situation, I’m sure all of us have our own stories to tell regarding letting-go-and-moving-on process. Societal problems are not just the only example; we have our own personal problems too. At any rate, what I want to emphasize from the very start of this column is the importance of accepting the fact that there are some things we really can’t change and all that’s left for us to do is to accept these things, let them go and move forward. Remember that living in the past is self-defeating. We fail to view the great things that we are about to experience because we dwell on things that happened too much. We fail to appreciate the exquisite feeling of living in the present because still, we are caged in the past.

LET GO AND MOVE FORWARD.

            Yes, it may sound difficult but this is the best thing to do. I’m sure most of us experienced holding on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, or depressed us. In almost every situation—be it personal or societal problems that are incapacitating our country’s economy—letting go is a part of the process. Together with letting go is moving forward. Of course, before saying goodbye to all the pains and struggles of the past, ask yourself what you can learn from them. Apply what you learned to the challenges of the present. Do not just limit yourself with what you are now. Be courageous to face mistakes and disappointments. In case of failures and rejections, forgive yourself. Focus in taking steps to a better future.

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You never took your eyes off of it. You watched it until it reached the point where the river water also disappears from your sight. You stretched your arms and you felt what it’s like to have a weight off your shoulders. You turned away, not looking back at the water as you left the bridge where you cast all your troubles away.